Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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