you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
