Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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