he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
