Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
