So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
