12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
