My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
