Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?