My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
