Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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