he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize