I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
