I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
