I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize