Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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