im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
