Jerry, you need to find god
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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