look no pants
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I party with great urgency now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
