Jerry, you need to find god
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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