what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
