I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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