I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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