Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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