i barfeds in our rink
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
