I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize