why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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