physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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