You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
