I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
