So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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