Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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