Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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