Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
