was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
