Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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