i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am mentally ready for anal.
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