just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
