I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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