Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
