We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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