Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
