her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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