My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
