You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
