I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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