"it" just moved
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
