I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got chris browned last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
