Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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