I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
