There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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