Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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