just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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