How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
