i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
