In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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