so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
