let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
