Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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