Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize