i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
